Crossover Hell OLD
by Hazama Itsuru
Summary: This is the old version of Crossover Hell. I decided to keep it around for old time's sake.
1. Crossover Hell

Author's Note: I cannot take credit for a few things here. Final Fantasy is copyright Squaresoft, Dragonball/Z/GT is copyright FUNimation (I believe...), and the mako-eyed girl, for those of you who can recognize her, is copyright Sara K. The Jehuty and Anubis are Orbital Frames from the game Zone of the Enders, copyright Konami of Japan. 

Another Note: The voice is myself and I see everything as if it were a computer terminal with text. Just want to clear that up. 

**Crossover Hell**

A Capsule Corp spaceship can be seen flying through space at incredible speeds when all of a sudden a wormhole opens in space and the ship is sucked toward it. 

**Vegita:** Damnit, I thought that woman had programmed this thing to avoid this! 

**Kuririn:** What the hell is that?! 

**All:** AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! 

The ship is sucked into the wormhole as two Orbital Frames appear from within. 

**Bryan:** ... Shit... 

**Hazama:** ... 

**Bryan:** Fanfic is on course, cap'n. 

The Jehuty and Anubis slam each other a thunderous high-five. Elsewhere on the homeworld of Final Fantasy VII, Gaea, the Capsule Corp ship appears through a rift above a small building, where our intrepid Midgar gang happens to be exploring. After a futile attempt to regain balance, the ship plummets to the building, caving in the roof and creating a blinding explosion. 

**All:** Gyah! 

**Yuffie:** What's going on?! 

**Barret:** Shutup, Yuffie! 

When everyone gets their sight back, they notice that a group of people are standing on the other side of the room that weren't there before, a little charred. 

**Aerith:** Umm... Who are those guys? 

**Yuffie:** Eww! The guy with the spiky black hair looks gross! 

**Vegita:** Shutup, you worthless creature! Don't make me... uh... hurt you, or something... Yeah! I just don't feel like killing you now... 

**Gokou:** Vegita, you know you can't kill anybody without getting your ass whooped by yours truly. 

**Vegita:** Yeah, then there's that complication too... My reason sounded better... 

**Piccolo:** Gimp... 

The Midgar gang stare blankly at the Z Fighters. 

**Rufus:** Mfahahahaha! 

**Cloud:** Rufus. I thought I told you that you died when WEAPON attacked Midgar. 

**Rufus:** You did? 

He scratches the back of his head as he thinks. 

**Rufus:** Oh yeah... Oh well. What are you going to do? 

Out of a time warp, a lunatic with mako-green eyes jumps on Rufus and starts stabbing him with a spork, shouting "DIE DIE DIE!". 

**Rufus:** Gah! Help me! 

Rufus dies. The lunatic fades into thin air along with the time warp. 

**Chaozu:** Uh...Yeah... 

**Barret:** A clown! Kill it! Kill it! 

Barret fires Chaozu full of lead. Chaozu promptly dies. 

**Tenshinhan:** Chaozu! No! I'll kill you for this! 

Tenshinhan runs at Barret screaming. He is promptly shot down by Barret. 

**Tifa:** Barret! 

**Barret:** Sorry... But he scared me. 

**Gohan:** Uh, shouldn't we be finding a way home, Dad? 

**Gokou:** Oh yeah, I almost forgot. 

**Yamucha:** Tenshinhan and Chaozu just died! Don't you even care?! 

**Vegita:** No... 

Vegita blasts Yamucha's head off. 

**Gokou:** Vegita, what did I tell you? Now I'll have to kick your ass. 

**Vegita:** It's none of your business! 

**Gokou:** When punks start hasslin' decent people, I make it my business 

**Vegita:** Aw, damnit. Not again! 

Gokou beats Vegita around for about five minutes and knocks him out. He gives him a senzu bean after it. 

**Piccolo:** If one of you doesn't find a way out, I'll make a way out. 

Nobody does a thing. Piccolo grabs the destroyed spaceship, flies out of the hole, and chucks it away, making a crater in the side of the Shinra Headquarters building. The Midgar gang stare blankly. Satisfied with himself, he flies away, followed by the rest of the Z Fighters. 

**Tifa:** Cloud? Shall we all go back to your villa in Costa del Sol? 

**Cloud:** Sounds like a good idea to me. I'll radio for the Highwind. 

Cloud takes his PHS from his pocket and presses a few buttons on it. After a bit, he talks for a minute or so and puts it back in his pocket. 

**A Voice:** Puts "it" back in his pocket? Uh... 

**Yuffie:** Who the hell? 

**A Voice:** Yuffie, shut the hell up already. 

**Yuffie:** I don't listen to voices without bodies. So nyah! 

**A Voice:** Oh well, I was hoping you would have listened... 

A bolt of lighting about equal to Bolt9 fries Yuffie and kills her. 

**A Voice:** Everyone happy now? 

**All:** Yes. 

**A Voice:** Good, because I'm going to go back to chugging Dew and snarfing down on some pizza. 

**Cid:** Dew? 

**A Voice:** Oh yeah, you don't have anything like that here. Sorry. 

**Barret:** Are we hallucinating or did I just hear that voice too? 

**Aerith:** No, we all heard it. Yuffie only heard half of it. 

Everyone laughs. 

**Cid:** Where the hell is that damned pilot? I didn't train him to be tardy! 

Almost at Cid's command, the Highwind stops and hovers above the hole in the roof. One of the workers walks out onto the deck and drops the ladder down. Everyone climbs up. 

**Cloud:** Been so long since I've ridden in this. I always ride Asuka. 

**Red XIII:** Asuka? 

**Cloud:** She's my gold Chocobo. Fastest one on the planet. I enter in races every now and then in my spare time. 

As they talk, the Highwind passes over the Mythril Mines and Barret looks over the rail with a look of extreme surprise. 

**Barret:** Hey! Look over here guys! 

**Tifa:** What is it, Barret? 

**Pilot:** Shall I stop here? 

**Barret:** Yeah, everyone should see this. 

Everyone, including the ship's pilot and workers walk over next to Barret and look over. They see one of the people from the group they were with earlier. He is holding the Midgarsorm on a fishing line and flying off toward Midgar. 

**Aerith:** Don't tell me I just saw that... 

**Cid:** Holy shit! That's the Midgarsorm! And that guy just hooked it and he's runnin' off with it! 

**Cloud:** I'd hate to be on his bad side. 

**Tifa:** Uh... Guys, the Midgarsorm isn't that powerful. 

**Barret:** Oh really? Why do you think I got this gun on my arm? The Midgarsorm chomped it off, that's why! Got me a prosthetic arm, and replaced it with a gun. 

**Tifa:** Barret, you told us that it was shot by Shin-Ra troops when you were going to save Corel. 

**Barret:** Oh yeah... I just... Umm... Wanted to see if you remembered! 

**Cid:** You scare me sometimes, Barret. 

**Aerith:** Speaking of scary, where's Sephiroth? 

**Cloud:** Probably down in the mess hall. He mentioned something about not eating since he came out of the northern crater. 

**Sephiroth:** Who called my name? 

**Tifa:** Nobody. And how did you get here without us noticing anyway? 

**Sephiroth:** Teleportation, my dear friends. That man in the orange shirt taught me how to teleport while we were fishing at the marsh. 

**Cloud:** You were down there with him? What's he like? 

**Sephiroth:** Oh, he's nothing like you, Cloud. In fact, he's more of a goody two shoes than half this planet's good population combined. 

**Tifa:** He sounds nice. 

**Sephiroth:** Bah. If it weren't for his strength, I would have killed him. 

**Cid:** Don't tell me you tried to. 

**Sephiroth:** Of course not, he seemed to have known I was... evil, or whatever you call it, and he told me. But he said I seemed nice enough, so he didn't have to kill me. 

**Pilot:** Alright, should we get going? 

**Barret:** Yeah, seems the show's over. 

**Pilot:** Alright, we'll be back on course in seconds. 

The pilot and the rest of the crew go back to the positions, and the Highwind starts flying toward Costa del Sol again. Once they arrive, the airship sets down at the dock on the helipad and a crew member drops the ladder down. After everyone is down, they go to Cloud's villa, where Barret and Cid throw themselves back on the couch and turn the television on. It isn't too much longer until Cloud walks into the room. 

**Cloud:** Hey, where's Vincent? 

**Vincent:** Right here. 

Vincent steps out of the shadows of a dark corner. 

**Cid:** Jesus H. Christ, don't ever do that again! You scared the living daylights outta me! 

**Barret:** zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz 

**Cid:** Yo! You're missin' the game, wake up! 

**Barret:** Huh...? Lemme alone man, I'm tryin' to catch up on my Zs. 

**Cid:** ... 

**Cloud:** ... 

**Vincent:** ... 

**A Voice:** Hey, that kinda flowed in motion there. The next row of dots started where the last row ended. 

The voice laughs. 

**Barret:** Mommy, tell the vacuum salesman to go away... 

**A Voice:** Vacuum salesman? 

The voice roars with laughter. 

**Barret:** I'd swear I was in a jungle. Anybody else hear that? 

**Vincent:** ... 

**Cloud:** ... 

**Cid:** ... 

**A Voice:** There it is again. 

The voice laughs again. 

**Cid:** Whoever that is, stop it please. I don't want to have nightmares. 

**Cloud:** Uh... 

**Barret:** I think I'll go have something to eat. 

Barret heads for the kitchen. There is a knock on the door. Outside, the Z Fighters are standing outside the door. 

**Gokou:** So... I wonder if they'll let us stay with them until we find a way home. 

**Vegita:** They'd better, or we'll freeze out here! 

**Piccolo:** It's a tropical climate, Vegita. Get serious. 

**Vegita:** Right... I... knew that... 

**Kuririn:** Gimp... 

**Vegita:** The only reason I don't kick your head off is because Kakarotto will probably reach an even higher level of Super Saiya-jin and kill me instead... 

**Gokou:** You know it. 

**Gohan:** Hey, someone's coming to the door. 

The door opens and Cloud stands there. 

Piccolo and Kuririn whisper to each other. 

**Piccolo:** I'll bet fifty zenni that Gokou acts like a fool here. 

**Kuririn:** You're on. 

**Gokou:** Umm... Kind sir, could you be willing to, uh... 

**Gohan:** What he means is-- 

**Gokou:** Can we stay with you? Pretty please! I'll cook, I'll clean! I'll beg! 

Piccolo whispers to Kuririn again. 

**Piccolo:** Pay up, man. Fifty zenni. 

Kuririn quietly slips a fifty zenni bill to Piccolo. 

**Cloud:** Hmm... I've wanted to know who you are for a while. Come on in and we can talk over some coffee. 

**Gokou:** Thanks! Come on guys. 

Cloud shows the Z Fighters to the living room, where they sit down. 

**Cloud:** Alright, I'll get some coffee. 

Cloud walks out and Barret stares at Vegita. Cid stares at Piccolo. 

**Vegita:** What do you think you're looking at? 

**Piccolo:** Take a picture, it lasts longer. 

**Cid/Barret:** ... 

**Gohan:** Guys... please don't. 

**Vincent:** What an interesting group... 

Cloud walks back in with a tray of coffee mugs and sets it down. Everyone grabs a mug. 

**Cloud:** Where to begin... Where did you come from? 

**Gokou:** We came from Earth, but we don't know how we got here. 

Cloud gets a surprised look on his face, but it fades away before anyone notices. 

**Cloud:** Alright, how long do you plan on staying here? 

**Gokou:** Only as long as it takes us to get back home, I hope. 

**Cid:** Oh boy, this will be a riot. Har har har. 

Barret thwaps Cid on the back of his head. 

**Barret:** Shaddap, I wanna hear this. 

Cid rubs the back of his head and says 'Ow!' He then smacks Barret in the back of his head. They get into a head-slapping battle and Vincent breaks them up. 

**Vincent:** Quiet, you two. The others are sleeping... 

**Cid:** He started it! 

**Barret:** No, you did! 

**Vegita:** For the love of Kami, will you both shutup! 

**Cid/Barret:** ... 

**Piccolo:** Well done, Vegita. But could you have been louder? I think only half of the town heard you. 

**Gohan:** Stop this. We're supposed to be explaining why we're here. 

**Cloud:** ... Ok, I think we could make some room for you guys to stay here. 

**Gohan:** ... That was quick. 

**Gokou:** Thanks a lot! Where are our rooms? 

**Cloud:** We only have three extra rooms. You guys will have to scrap over who stays in them. 

**Gohan:** I'll stay with Dad. 

**Trunks:** If it isn't too much trouble, I could stay with my father. 

**Vegita:** ...Oh, alright. 

**Kuririn:** It looks like me and Piccolo will be in the same room then. 

**Piccolo:** Oh, happy joy. 

After a not so long, but hectic day, the Z Fighters retire to their rooms. Tifa walks in. 

**Tifa:** Well? What went on? 

**Cloud:** Nothing much. They'll be staying with us until they can get home. 

**Tifa:** Home? Where are they from? 

**Barret:** They didn't say. They couldn't have been from around here, the way they was dressed. 

**Cloud:** _(No, they're not from around here.)_ The man in the orange shirt told me where they were from, but he told me not to tell anyone. 

**Cid:** When? I was here the whole time, and I never heard him say where they were from. 

**Cloud:** I'm not sure, but I think it was telepathy. In any case, I'm retiring for the night. See you all in the morning. 

**Tifa/Barret/Cid:** Later. 

**Cid:** ...I just remembered. We left Yuffie dead back there. 

**Barret:** Your point being...? 

**Cid:** Heh, you're right. There was no point in saying that. 

**Barret:** Ah, I think I'm gonna go to bed too. G'night Tifa. Cid. 

**Cid:** Yeah yeah. Wait for me, I'm goin' to sleep too. 

**Tifa:** Good night, Barret. 

Barret and Cid leave the room, and Tifa is left alone. 

**Tifa:** _(Telepathy? What other powers do these strange people have?)_

Tifa shakes her head and leaves. Not a half hour has passed, and the villa is quiet. Everyone is resting for the day ahead. 


	2. Clash of Forces

Author's Note: A few copyrights here. Ehrgeiz is copyright Squaresoft. Dragonball/Z/GT copyright FUNimation (I believe). Alta and Altalimmia are a play on Atla and Atlamillia from Dark Cloud. The Dark Genie and the Faerie King are also from Dark Cloud, which is copyright Sony (I believe). Final Fantasy series characters are copyright Squaresoft. The red-haired guy (Chrono) is copyright Squaresoft, as well as Magus. Oh yeah, I guess the concept of a town being locked up in orbs (cubes, for this fic) is copyright Sony since it's in Dark Cloud. 

**Clash of Forces**

Barret is sitting in the living room. He grabs the remote and turns the television on. There is a news reporter on screen. 

**Reporter:** And the severed head was found in the elevator shaft. 

The reporter turns to another camera. 

**Reporter:** Good news for egg lovers-- 

Barret turns the tv off and grumbles. 

**Barret:** Nothing but news! They need good shows like Larry Stinger! 

Cid walks in and slumps down in another chair. 

**Cid:** What's up, man? 

**Barret:** I need to find something to do before my mind rots. 

**Cid:** We could make an evil Sephiroth to fight again. There's some activity for you. 

**Barret:** I thought we had an evil Sephiroth here. 

**Cid:** Nah, him and Cloud patched things up years ago. 

A time portal opens and a spiky red-haired guy steps out. 

**Red-Haired Guy:** Hey, this doesn't look like Truce Canyon. 

**Cid:** Oh no, we're not having a double crossover! One is bad enough! 

Cid shoves the guy back into the portal and it closes up. 

**Barret:** What was that all about? 

**Cid:** Got me. 

**Barret:** Hey, that portal is still here. 

**Cid:** Eh? I know what to do with that thing. 

Cid grins evilly. He grabs the portal and runs out. 

**Barret:** Hey, wait up! 

Outside, Cid climbs up the ladder to the Highwind, followed by Barret. Cid raises the airship into the sky and starts flying away. Barret walks up to Cid. 

**Barret:** Yo, where we going? 

**Cid:** You'll see. 

After about half an hour, the Highwind approaches the Northern Crater and Cid stops the airship above it. 

**Cid:** Watch... this'll keep him from coming back. 

Cid walks to the edge of the deck and tosses the portal over, where it hovers in the air just under the lip of the crater. 

**Barret:** Huh, that's weird. Why's it hanging there? 

**Cid:** Who cares? It'll scare the shit out of him even more when he comes back and finds himself falling into oblivion. 

Cid walks down into the airship, into the conference room and sits down in a chair. Putting out his cigarette in an ashtray, he lights up a new one and leans back in the chair. Barret runs in and almost falls down in laughter. 

**Barret:** Hahahahahahaha! He came back! Fell right into the middle of the crater! 

Cid sighs and shakes his head. 

**Cid:** Hey, mind telling the pilot to head back home? Being this close to the crater gives me the creeps. 

Barret nods and walks out. About half a minute passes and the airship grinds to life, turning toward Costa del Sol and moving forward. Cid begins to doze off. 

After another half hour, the Highwind arrives at...... nothing. The airship stops above the empty village of Costa del Sol. No buildings, no people. Just a huge purple guy with a gem on his stomach flying away in the distance. Wait... huge purple flying guy... missing village... man, it must be another crossover! 

The speaker in the conference room crackles. 

**Intercom:** Cid! Cid, sir! 

Cid wakes up slowly as the voice continues. 

**Intercom:** Sir, it appears Costa del Sol is gone! 

Cid bolts upright in his chair. 

**Cid:** What?! You must have miscalculated the coordinates. 

**Intercom:** No, sir. The GPS shows we're right above where the villa should be. 

**Cid:** Alright, I'll be up. 

Cid gets out of his chair, lights a new cigarette, and walks up on the bridge. 

**Cid:** Now what's this nonsense about the town missing? Holy Cabeega! 

Cid runs over to the rail and looks over. 

**Pilot:** See, everything is missing. 

**Cid:** Just... land and we'll sort things out. 

Barret runs up on the bridge. 

**Barret:** Hey! The town is... 

Cid cuts him off by nodding. 

**Barret:** Oh... you know. 

The pilot lowers the airship and a worker drops the ladder over the side. Cid and Barret climb down and walk into the middle of what used to be the square. 

**Cid:** How... the hell? 

**Voice:** Allow me to explain. 

They turn around and see a short, bearded man with a staff. The staff is tipped by a blue orb. 

**Man:** I am the Faerie King. Your village was destroyed by an evil genie, but I saved it by encasing pieces of the village in magical cubes called Alta. 

**Barret:** Great, you seal our house up and float it off somewhere! Nice, real nice. 

**Faerie King:** Yes, but you can restore the village by gathering the Alta. You will need something special, though. 

The faerie king points his staff at Cid and a blue orb appears on his left boot. 

**Faerie King:** Oops, uh... I meant to put that on your glove. Anyway, that orb is called Altalimmia. It can absorb the contents of the Alta cubes. 

**Cid:** How am I supposed to open something with my foot? 

**Faerie King:** You'll have to improvise. Here's a sample Alta sphere to test out the Altalimmia. 

The faerie king mumbles an incantation, aims his staff in an open space and an odd-colored cube appears. 

**Cid:** What do I do? 

**Faerie King:** You must touch the item that has the Altalimmia to the cube. 

**Barret:** Cid, I think you need to kick it. 

**Cid:** We got a real Einstein here. 

Cid gives the cube a swift kick and a swirling mist goes into the orb on his boot. 

**Faerie King:** Good, now you must release it. To save time, I've just inparted you the knowledge of how to do so. 

Cid taps his left boot with the other boot and a pack of ramen noodles pops out. Barret picks it up. 

**Barret:** Aw, I wanted Cajun Chicken. 

**Faerie King:** You must now rebuild your world! 

There is a long pause. 

**Faerie King:** Are there monsters here? I can't seem to teleport away. 

**Cid:** Oh, yeah. The planet is littered with them. 

**Faerie King:** Drat. I'll have to hoof it. 

The faerie king walks off. Barret and Cid stare after him until he is out of sight. Cid looks down at his boot. 

**Cid:** So we have to look for these boxes or we'll never get our home back? Damnit! 

**Barret:** I say we go after that genie guy. Make him round up all those boxes for us. 

**Cid:** Hey, yeah. Good idea. But where do we start? 

**A Voice:** Hey, yeah? HEY, YEAH I'M THE ONE THAT YOU WANTED! 

**Cid/Barret:** What the hell?! 

**A Voice:** Sorry, I couldn't resist that. 

Maniacal laughter follows, then silence. 

**Barret:** Riiiiiiight... 

Sephiroth appears in front of Cid and Barret. He is holding a staff with a blue orb on top. 

**Sephiroth:** Hey, that orb looks like this one. Did that old dude give it to you? 

**Cid:** Yeah. We have to rebuild Costa del Sol. Could you teleport us to this evil genie dude? 

Sephiroth raises an eyebrow. 

**Barret:** Look, do you want the villa back? 

Sephiroth shrugs. Cid grins. 

**Cid:** Hey, didn't you leave Masamune in the villa? 

**Sephiroth:** Alright, there's an evil genie that needs an ass-whooping. Nobody messes with me or Masamune. 

**Barret:** By the way, how'd you get that staff? 

**Sephiroth:** I killed a funny looking old guy. It might bring in some good money. 

**Cid:** Uh, you just killed the guy that was gonna help us. 

**Sephiroth:** Your point being...? 

**Cid:** Let's just get going. I want to sit in my favorite chair right about now. 

Sephiroth grabs Cid and Barret by their necks. A second later they fade out of sight. They reappear in front of a huge castle. There is a man watching from a window. 

**Man:** There seems to be people outside. They just appeared from nowhere. 

**Voice:** Well, we shall have to deal with them accordingly. 

Back outside. 

**Cid:** Alright, let's go. 

**Sephiroth:** Hang on a sec. Just because you can absorb Alta doesn't make you the leader. I'm taking it from here. 

**Cid:** How'd you know that? 

**A Voice:** We were chatting after you came back from the crater. 

**Barret:** Oh, that explains it. 

**A Voice:** Quite well if I say so myself. 

**Sephiroth:** I need a sword. My hand-to-hand abilities have gone down since I trained for the Ehrgeiz tournament. 

**Barret:** Oh yeah, that. I wasn't invited. Hell, Yuffie got to go! 

**A Voice:** I'll see that they invite you to the next one. Hmm... a sword. I'll give you a prototype I've been working on for some time. 

A long nodachi appears on the ground. Sephiroth picks it up and examines it. 

**Sephiroth:** It looks like Masamune 

**A Voice:** It's an upgraded copy. It's only a prototype so it won't be any stronger. The final version will dwarf the Masamune in power. I think you'll like it. 

**Sephiroth:** We'll see. Hmm... three people and we haven't the foggiest idea of this guy's power. I wonder if anyone else is around. 

Sephiroth disappears into thin air. After about a minute he reappears. 

**Sephiroth:** Damn, just as I thought. We're the only ones left. But why could I sense him? 

**Cid:** So now what? If we die, nobody is left. 

**Barret:** Just great. How many potions do we have? 

**Cid:** Not many. Rough-housing with the WEAPONs took us down quite a bit. 

**Sephiroth:** I always say those WEAPONs would be the end of us, and now it's true. 

**A Voice:** Low on potions, eh? I have a friend here than can give you a good deal. He has all kinds. 

**2nd Voice:** Someone mention potions? 

**1st Voice:** Yeah, our buddies here need some. Think you can set them up? 

**2nd Voice:** Somebody set up us the potion ! 

**1st Voice:** What you say ! 

**Sephiroth:** Uh, can we just buy some potions? 

**Voices:** ... 

**2nd Voice:** Alright, I have all the regular potions. I also found a few of these strength potions. 

**Sephiroth:** So, what do we need? 

**Cid:** We're out of Megalixirs and Elixirs. Everything else is running real low. 

**Sephiroth:** Alright. We'll take max of everything. 

**2nd Voice:** Want a few of these new potions? 

**Sephiroth:** Sure. They might help us. 

A crate appears on the ground. 

**Barret:** Damn, man. That's gonna take all our money! I wanted a new car! 

**Cid:** You don't drive... 

**Barret:** Doesn't mean I don't want to. 

**2nd Voice:** That adds up to... 1,385,600 Gil. Just put the money in a sack. 

Everyone puts the money in a sack and tosses it on the ground. It disappears in a flash of light. 

**2nd Voice:** Nice doin' business with ya. 

**Sephiroth:** Alright, we'll each take part of the load. 

Everyone opens the crate and takes part of the contents. 

**Cid:** I forgot how heavy these damn potions were by not having to carry them anymore. 

**Barret:** Shu'up and get walkin'. 

**Sephiroth:** As much as I hate being in a group, I'm getting Masamune back. Let's go. 

The three of them walks into the castle. Still outside... 

**2nd Voice:** This'll be fun, ne? 

**1st Voice:** Yeah. Should we help at all? I mean... I haven't gotten to the Dark Genie in Dark Cloud, but strategies say he's one tough badass. 

**2nd Voice:** We'll wait and see. 

Sephiroth, Cid, and Barret walk into a foyer-type room before moving into a large, open room. It is dark as the door closes behind them. 

**Voice:** Welcome to Dark Heaven Castle. 

Candles around the room flare to life. A large purple guy sits on a throne. 

**Barret:** Hey, he's the guy that toasted our home! 

**Voice:** I am the Dark Genie, and I welcome you. But... 

The Dark Genie jumps off the throne to the floor. 

**Dark Genie:** You must now die! 

**Cid:** Shit! 

The Dark Genie hurls a massive fireball at the gang, who just barely dodge it. Sephiroth's hair is singed. 

**Sephiroth:** Don't nobody mess with Masamune, and you sure don't mess with the hair. 

**Dark Genie:** Ooo, what're ya gonna do? Bend me over and spank me? I think not. 

Sephiroth grins wickedly, then shouts "_Bolt Six!_" A massive beam of crackling lightning slams through the room and hits the genie, dispersing throughout the room afterward. 

**Dark Genie:** Wha-what! I've researched on you, you can't go beyond three spell levels! 

**Sephiroth:** Check it out. We're new and improved. 

**Dark Genie:** You will pay! 

While the genie is distracted, Cid and Barret combine their materia's powers. They both shout "Ultimate End!" The thirteen knights of the round table fly at the Dark Genie one by one attacking, then attack in one group which sends the genie flying into a wall. Sephiroth lunges at the genie, sword drawn, and slashes him in the gut. Blood seeps from the wound. 

**Dark Genie:** You've hit me! How can you hit me? I am the most supreme being in the world! 

**Voice:** Quit your whining! You sound just like Freezer. 

**Cid:** Hey, it's that... uh... that guy with the receeding hairline. 

The man steps out of the shadows. 

**Man:** The name is Vegita, not "that guy." 

**Vegita:** And I think it's time I claim my glory as strongest in the universe when I kill this fat thing. 

**Dark Genie:** You? Defeat me? Don't make me laugh. 

**Vegita:** Step aside boys. I'm going to break this guy with my bare hands. _I just hope this doesn't turn into another Perfect Cell incident._

**Sephiroth:** You'd better hope you're as strong as you think you are. 

**Barret:** Umm... I think we better leave him to his work. 

Sephiroth, Cid, and Barret step back to the door as Vegita begins to glow slightly. A bluish aura soon springs to life about him. Small pebbles from various debris begin to float into the air and crumble. Suddenly the aura flares into a raging inferno and the ground begins to quake. The floor cracks and large chunks of it fly into the air and crumble to dust. The aura fades away and Vegita looks at the Dark Genie with an evil grin. 

**Vegita:** Prepare to die. 

Vegita flies at the Dark Genie, who throws a fireball at Vegita. Phasing out, he reappars above the genie and sends him hurtling to the floor with an overhead slam. Before he hits, Vegita drops below him, then flies upward sending an extended foot into the genie's back. Vegita drops to the floor, and the genie slams into the roof, which crumbles around him. The genie rights himself and floats to the floor. 

**Dark Genie:** Very good. But you still have yet to hurt me. 

Vegita snarls. 

**Vegita:** Then I'll just keep going. Wait there a second. That is... if you want a real fight. 

**Dark Genie:** I can't wait. 

Vegita smirks, then the bluish aura returns. Vegita clenches his fists and his hair flashes golden for a second, then it flashes and stays as his eyes turn blue and the aura turns golden, flaring wildly. Unclenching his fists, SSj Vegita glares up at the genie. 

**Dark Genie:** Nice hair dye and contact lenses. You don't fool me. You're no stronger than before. 

Vegita phases out and reappears in front of the genie. He draws back his right fist and slams it square in the genie's face. Blood seeps slowly from his nose. 

**Dark Genie:** What! You actually hurt me! 

**Vegita:** That's only a fraction of my true power that I'm using. Want to see me at full strength. If you got a kick out of this, you'll love me after I'm done powering up. 

Vegita chuckles lightly. 

**Dark Genie:** _If I can mind control him in his strongest state, I'd rule the planet!_ Go ahead. Show me what you've got. 

**Vegita:** You really will regret this. It will be your last day. 

Vegita clenches his fists again, hunches over, and starts to gather his power. Veins start to pop out on his forehead and his hair starts to flash black a few times before keeping its color, growing shaggier at the same time. Red fur starts to cover his chest and arms, while a red tail sprouts from behind. The golden aura disappears as his eyes are outlined by red. 

**Vegita:** Come to the grim reaper. 

**Barret:** W-what is that guy!? 

**Cid:** Got me, but let's move back a little more. 

**Sephiroth:** His power intrigues me. I want to learn his secret. 

**Barret:** Are you !@#$%&* nuts?! After seeing this, I don't wanna get near him again! 

**Sephiroth:** Either you forgot or don't realize... I have a hunger for power. 

Sephiroth examines the prototype sword carefully. 

**Sephiroth:** And this sword shall grant me the power I've always longed for. 

**Cid:** Just don't go crazy on us, okay? 

Sephiroth starts to respond, but is broken off by the Dark Genie slamming into the wall right next to them. Vegita flies over and grabs the genie by his feet, drags him into an open space, and begins to swing him around. After a few seconds, Vegita releases and the genie flies into the wall again. He flies over, grabs the genie again, and hurls him over his head. Once more, Vegita flies over to the genie, picks him up by the head, and slams him backwards over his shoulder, then forward onto the ground, releasing his grip. Vegita picks up the genie, now bleeding profusely, by his vest-type thing. 

**Vegita:** It's time to meet your maker. 

Vegita grins wickedly and holds an open palm up to the Dark Genie's face. It begins to glow. Cid runs up to them. 

**Cid:** Wait! We need him to recover the Alta! 

**Vegita:** So what! 

**Cid:** If he dies, the Alta disappears along with the crossover! And we'll never get our home back! 

**Vegita:** I don't care! If I kill this fat oaf, I'll be the supreme ruler of the universe! 

**Cid:** What kind of supreme ruler will you be without a home?! 

**Vegita:** ...... 

Vegita releases his grip on the Dark Genie and lets him slump to the ground. The genie sees this as his chance and tries to control Vegita. 

**Vegita:** Funny tingling... it almost tickles. 

The genie growls and tries harder to take over Vegita's mind. Vegita lightly shrugs it off. Putting all of his force into his mind control ability, Vegita finally begins to break. 

**Vegita:** Damn you... not... again! 

**Dark Genie:** Hahaha. You finally see my true ability. 

As the Dark Genie's power overwhelms Vegita, he drops to his knees and grabs his head, trying to shake out the evil. 

**Vegita:** I become good... and this is what I get for it?! ARGH! 

Finishing the mind control, the Dark Genie stands back up, as does Vegita. He powers down to normal. 

**Vegita:** After all this... my desire to kill Kakarotto still hasn't left me... 

Vegita screams out in primal rage and glares at the Dark Genie. All of the hatred from Vegita's past now burns in his eyes as he stares down the genie. 

**Vegita:** What have you done to me?! You bastard! I'll have your head for this! 

Vegita flares his aura up, but his hair becomes a silver color instead of blonde or black. As if writhing in agony, Vegita stands where he is, growling loudly. 

**Dark Genie:** No... don't tell me you're... 

**Vegita:** Going to attack? 

Vegita grins more evilly than he had ever in his life as he walks up to the Dark Genie and grabs him by his vest again. 

**Vegita:** You come here... destroy my home... make some old wizard float it off somewhere in cubes... AND NOW YOU TRY TO CONTROL ME?! 

**Cid:** Uhh... let's leave now, ne? 

**Barret:** I'm all for that. 

**Sephiroth:** Cowards... 

The genie senses Vegita's immense power, not to mention that tiny bit of anger and begins to plead for his mercy. 

**Dark Genie:** I didn't really mean to do anything... really... please spare my life. 

**Vegita:** Give us the Alta and maybe I will. 

**Dark Genie:** Anything! 

Vegita lets the Dark Genie go, and he begins to summon the Alta. After a few minutes, every cube of Alta scattered across the world appears in the room. 

**Vegita:** Thanks. Now I'll kill you. 

**Dark Genie:** What?! 

Vegita holds his hand out toward the genie and shouts "_Big Bang Attack!_" Vegita's trademark ball of destruction flies at the Dark Genie with such power that the genie folds in on itself rather than blowing up, along with a few scattered debris nearby, after which Vegita powers down to normal. 

**Cid:** The cubes are secure. 

**Barret:** Well, open the damn things. 

One by one, Cid gives each cube a swift kick, sucking up the contents into the Altalimmia on his boot. 

**Sephiroth:** Mission complete. Combat system disengaged. 

Cid and Barret look at Sephiroth with raised eyebrows. 

**Sephiroth:** Erm... I mean... Let's head back home. 

**Vegita:** You better have everything in that damn boot of yours. 

**Cid:** I got them, don't worry. 

Cid releases the Tiny Bronco and the crew fly back home. Once they arrive there, they find an enormous dark figure waiting. 

**Figure:** I am the true form of the dark genie! Prepare to meet your doom! 

**Sephiroth:** There's another? Lovely... 

Sephiroth draws his sword and prepares for battle. 

**Barret:** Zoinks! 

**Dark Genie:** It's great to have a decoy, isn't it? But you, my friend, are much too powerful for my liking. Since you will not join me... 

With one fell swoop, the Dark Genie knocks Vegita out cold. 

**Dark Genie:** With him gone, nobody can stand between us. It's time to meet your maker! 

As the Dark Genie prepares an attack, a shadowy figure dives out of nowhere and slashes the Dark Genie's head off. As the head falls, the stranger falls to the ground and lands in a kneel. 

**Cid:** What the... 

The mysterious person stands up and turns to the gang. He is of medium height with pale skin and silver hair that reaches to his shoulder blades. He is wearing a cape, and holds a long-handled scythe in one gloved hand. 

**Sephiroth:** If he had glowing eyes and was a bit taller, he could pass for me. 

**Man:** It appeared you could have used a bit of help, so I jumped in. My name is Magus. 

**Sephiroth:** Magus... why is that name familiar...? 

Vegita slowly begins to regain consciousness and starts to mumble as he gets to his feet. 

**Vegita:** Damn genie... knock me out will he... we'll see about that... 

**Barret:** Genie guy's gone, man. 

**Vegita:** What? You weaklings couldn't have killed him! 

**Magus:** This weakling killed him. 

Magus twirls his scythe around flashily and grins. 

**Vegita:** So you dare ruin my honor? 

**Magus:** Wanna go? 

**Sephiroth:** Both of you, stop. Now... We're going home now that we have the Alta. 

Vegita mumbles something and shuffles off toward where the villa would have been. Cid walks after him, followed by the other two. After releasing all of the townspeople, he goes to work on reconstructing the village, with a few modifications suggested by the residents. Lastly, Cid releases Cloud's villa back where it used to be. 

**Barret:** Why does the town seem larger than it used to be? 

**Sephiroth:** Cid? What all did you suck into that gem of yours? 

**Cid:** The town pieces and a few odds and ends. 

**Sephiroth:** ... 

Cid sweatdrops and shrugs. A swirling yellow light appears and leaves behind the short, aged man from before... 


	3. End of the Madness

Author's Note: Final Fantasy series characters copyright Squaresoft. Glyde of MegaMan Legends 2 is copyright Capcom. More Dark Cloud stuff copyright Sony (weapons, characters (I believe)). Chrono Trigger's Melchior and Magus copyright Squaresoft. Dragonball/Z/GT copyright FUNimation (I believe). Ultimate Crossover Tournament Fighting (UCTF) copyright , uh... Vegeta of the UCTF (www.uctf.org). 

**End of the Madness**

After the crossover incidents, the world pretty much went back to normal. Though the requests of the Costa del Sol villagers left the town rearranged, everyone was rewarded for fulfilling the requests. Just before the Faerie King leaves... 

**Sephiroth:** Eh? You? I thought I killed you. 

The faerie king stares at Sephiroth. 

**Faerie King:** Ah, you. Did you really think I'd wander a dangerous world alone? I was safe at home. You merely killed an illusion of me. 

**Sephiroth:** So this stone... 

He looks at the orb he acquired and it vanishes slowly. 

**Faerie King:** An illusion. Now... For your bravery and your unselfish desire to arrange the town around the villagers' requests, I shall reward you with new weapons and a guidebook. 

A sword appears in Sephiroth's hands. 

**Faerie King:** For you, the Chronicle. It is a weapon with awesome power. 

**1st Voice:** Not as much as my sword. 

**2nd Voice:** Hear hear! 

A gun appears in Barret's hand. 

**Faerie King:** For you, the Supernova. It is a weapon with awesome power. 

**Barret:** ooOOooOOoo! 

A spear appears in Cid's hands. 

**Faerie King:** For you, Babel's spear. It is-- 

**Cid:** Yeah, yeah. It's a weapon with awesome power. 

**Faerie King:** Actually it's very weak. 

**Cid:** ... 

**Faerie King:** I'm just joking. Where is the flat-headed man in the blue pants? 

**Vegita:** Right here. What do you want? 

**Faerie King:** Ah, yes. Now for your reward. 

A bluish sword appears in Vegita's hands. 

**Faerie King:** That is the 7th Heaven. There is much power contained in that sword. Use it wisely. 

**Magus:** Sounds like what old man Melchior said about the Masamune. 

**Sephiroth:** What about my sword? 

**Magus:** Not yours. It's Kaeru's broadsword. 

**Sephiroth:** ... 

**Faerie King:** Now for the long-haired man in the cape. 

**1st Voice:** Black caped man! *laughs* 

**2nd Voice:** I always hated that. It's a trench, damnit. 

A wicked-looking scythe appears in Magus' hands. 

**Faerie King:** That is the Death Scythe. Manage it well, for it commands power over the living and dead. 

**Cid:** He could raise the dead with that thing? 

**Faerie King:** Everything you need to know is right here. 

A book appears in the faerie king's hands. He gives it to Cid. 

**Cid:** Sweetness! 

**Faerie King:** I must leave now. Remember that since you have these weapons, our world's things will remain. If you status-break them and level up the weapons you put them on, the references to our world shall disappear. Farewell! 

The king vanishes in a swirling yellow light. 

**Barret:** Huh... Ya know, their world could help us. 

**Sephiroth:** I say we read the book. Let's go inside. 

Everyone walks into the villa and sits down. Magus reads about the Death Scythe. 

**Magus:** Seems here this scythe can duplicate items with a spell its owner learns by having it. 

**Vegita:** Well then, duplicate the book so we can all read. 

**Magus:** Very well. 

Magus puts the book on a table and begins to cast the spell. The book magically sprouts four duplicates of itself. Everyone grabs a book and begins reading. After a few minutes... 

**Vegita:** Interesting, to say the least. 

**Cid:** We can level up our weapons if we status break these and put them on our own weapons. 

**Sephiroth:** Yes, but once our weapons level up, the synthsphere and future levelups disappear. 

**Magus:** I'm keeping this weapon. 

**Barret:** I don't like the weapon health thing though... 

**Sephiroth:** Hopefully there's still a blacksmith around. 

**Vegita:** I don't need a sword, but I think I know who might like it. 

Vegita imagines...   
-**Vegita:** Here, you can have this.   
-**Trunks:** Wow! Thanks, father!   
-**Vegita:** Yeah, just don't get all happy on me... 

Vegita coughs. Cloud walks in. 

**Cloud:** We're about to eat. 

**Cid:** Right on! 

**Barret:** Let's move! 

Cid and Barret run out of the living room faster than anyone can say "Wait up, dudes." Everyone walks into the dining room where Gokou, Cid, and Barret are trying to outeat each other. Gokou has a huge advantage. 

**Magus:** Sickening... I'm going to the bar to eat. 

**Sephiroth:** They've been like this since Gokou and the others got here. 

Magus floats out the door. Sephiroth, Cloud, and Vegita sit down to eat. 

**Vegita:** Kakarotto! 

**Gokou:** Mmmf? 

**Vegita:** Where's your manners? Fork over those mashed potatoes! 

At Bar del Sol, Magus floats up the stairs and to the bar. 

**Bartender:** What can I get you? 

**Magus:** I want food. 

**Bartender:** All we have is fried chocobo wings. Five gil a bucket. 

Magus slaps down a five gil coin and the bartender hands him a bucket of wings. He walks to a table, sits down, and begins to eat while watching the news on a small, ceiling-mounted television. 

**News Reporter:** The Hojo rumors have gotten even better. Some witnesses say they saw Hojo outside the Shin-Ra Headquarters. They also say he was carrying a young girl in ninja gear into the building. We'll have more on these rumors as soon as we hear of anything. Now to sports! 

**Sports Reporter:** Well, the Chocobo Race scene is seeing a lot of change as a new racer named Glyde is even giving Joe and Teioh some competition, going on to even best Joe by a half second in a recent race. Glyde is a mystery to everyone; nobody knows who he is, but he sure is drawing his own crowd now. At this rate, he could even take Joe's position as Number One Chocobo Racer. We now give you the weather. 

Magus finishes his food, and tosses the bucket in a trashcan. He floats out the door and back into the villa, where he goes back to the dining room. Everyone is finishing eating. 

**Magus:** Didn't I remember hearing you have a ninja girl in your group? 

**Tifa:** Yuffie? Yeah, why? 

**Magus:** The news said some Hojo guy drug her into Shin-Ra Headquarters, wherever that is. 

**Cloud:** As much as I hate to say this... We have to go get her back. 

**Cid:** Oh yeah, we did leave her back there a few days ago, didn't we? 

**Vincent:** Hojo shall pay dearly for the day I learned that he is still alive. 

**Barret:** Let's go then! 

The Midgar gang walk out the door. The Z Fighters just sit there. The Highwind can be heard lifting off and flying away. 

**Trunks:** Well, what do we do while they're gone? 

**Gokou:** That huge snake in the marsh tasted good. I think I'll see if there's more. 

**Vegita:** I want to know what that giant red thing is near that desert. 

**Gohan:** I saw something flying around a canyon. 

Piccolo fans his fingers across his face and yells "Taiyouken!" 

**Kuririn:** Honestly, what do you think that did? 

Outside, people are screaming, and a few are shouting "My eyes!" Someone slams into the villa door and falls down. 

**Kuririn:** ... 

**Piccolo:** Sweet! 

**Gohan** That was morally disturbing. 

**Piccolo:** Sorry... 

**Vegita:** Argh! I'm going to bed. I can't stand your gimpiness anymore. 

Vegita walks to his room. 

**Gokou:** Sounds good to me. 

**Gohan:** Not going fishing now? 

**Gokou:** Maybe tomorrow. It's late anyway. 

**Gohan:** Alright, wait up. 

Gokou and Gohan go to their room. Piccolo, Trunks, and Kuririn look at each other. 

**Piccolo:** Party hardy! 

Kuririn turns on the television. 

_**Bob:** Coming to you LIVE from The UCTF Arena and Anime City... This is UCTF: WINTER WARFARE!_

**Trunks:** This is more like it. 


End file.
